The Scary Tale of Dortmund (Arsenal - Dormund Match Preview)

10 years ago a boy went into a haunted forest. This is his tale.................

*Listen to and watch the story below before continuing.*

*Now play the next video and listen to the sounds while reading on.*

Rain pours down from the skies. Thunder and lightning crackle and light up the heavens. We are in present day London. 10 years from the moment when the  mysterious boy went into the forest and was haunted. 10 years and the mystery of what actually happened in that forest still remains.

Dortmund have just arrived in London in the thunderstorm. Their team bus has broken down in the middle of the forest though. The same forest that haunted the child all those years ago.........................

Mighty Reus: Hey guys!!!!! What's going on!! Why has our bus stopped?

Dortmund are scared. Very scared. They know doom
awaits them...........

Klopp: Our buus haz brokeen down me boy. Patience me lad. Patience. Let uz go eexplore in theez rain and zee what iz in theez forest shall we.

Aubemayang: Yeah, let's go!

Lewandowski: You guys no!!!!!!! I'm scared...... I was just here in London last week after I got my butt kicked the all powerful England squad. The most powerful side of the world. This forest is HAUNTED mates. We must stay on the bus and wait.

Sahin: Nonsense mate. Now come....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Sahin has just tripped on a leaf and broken his leg. He will be out for the rest of the season.)

*The rain continues to pour down heavily on Dortmund as they begin to explore throughout the forest. Then suddenly they see it. A mysterious hole in the ground. A strange whistle emanates from the hole........*

Klopp: What is ze sound I hear? Why iz ze whistle come from thiz hole?

Lewandowski: You guys....I'm REALLY SCARED!!!!!!!!! Please, let's go!

Hummels: Nonsense. Let's see what's inside.....

*Hummels walks and looks into the hole, and his worst nightmare stands there looking back at him....*

Hummels: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH GAWD NOOOOOOOO MAKE IT STOOPPP!!!!!!!!

Klopp: What iz it?

Hummels: It's......It's........IT"S HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHH NOOOO PLEASE PLEASE GAWD WHY????????????////

*Klopp goes to take a peek and look in and suddenly he sees what has frightened Hummels so much. There in the hole is the image of Mertesacker. The man who has condemned Hummels to an eternity of the bench in the German NT. Mertesacker is Hummels worst nightmare.*

Klopp: Zer zer Hummels. Go take seat on ze bus. You mus get used to sitting down when in ze presence of Mertesacker anyways. You should get use to now I guezz.

*Hummels exits sobbing uncontrollably to go sit on the "bench" in the bus. He now knows in his heart that whenever Mertesacker is around the bench is the only place he can be*

Then suddenly out of nowhere the whistling in the hole stops and a bright light appears. Then an image of the

Dortmund will have no choice but to fall to the ground in
despair when my powerful Arsenal are through with them.

future is displayed to the whole Dortmund team. They see images of Ozil weaving in and around their team. They see images of Ramsey the new Zidane only better freely scoring on them. They see images of Wilshere the best mid of the world along with Ramsey tearing them up in the centre of the pitch. It is just too much for them to take.

A blood-curdling scream is heard from all the Dortmund players. A scream that would send shivers up your spine and make your toes curl. They scream and scream in vain as the images of what their fate will be when they get embarassed  by Arsenal continue to flash before them. Then suddenly the Dortmund players world turns black as they pass out...........................

The players awake the next day in their hotel rooms. They know in their hearts that the images they have seen are real and that there is no hope for them against Arsenal, the most powerful team of the world. They then head to do pre match interviews.

Reporter: Hummels!!! Hummels!!!! How many silly mistakes at the back will you make in tomorrows match?
Hummels: Well that is a good question reporter. I know that since I am an overrated CB who is always making dumb mistakes that it is bound to happen at least 5-7 times tomorrow. And that is not counting even the times when Ozil or Cazorla will just make me look foolish naturally!!! I know that my team stands no chance against Arsenal tomorrow.

Klopp in happier times. These days his face is solemn
and sad. He knows that he faces utter humiliation and
embarassment at the hands of the most powerful team
of the world ARSENAL.

Reporter: Reus!!! Mighty Reus!!!!!!! You are one of the most powerful players in the world. Will it be
enough for you to snatch some points tomorrow?
Mighty Reus: Oh of course not. We have never faced a team of the magnitude of Arsenal. We are the #3 team of the world, but Arsenal are the #1 and much too powerful for us. I only wish that I can have a good match so that Mr. Wenger can come recruit me to the most powerful team of the world.

Reporter: Gundogan!! Mr. Gundogan!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell the truth. Have you injured yourself on purpose just so you wouldn't have to face the awesome power of Arsenal in the Champions League?
Gundogan: My oh my I'm so embarassed, but yes I must admit that I hurt myself on purpose. I didn't want to suffer the humiliation on the pitch that we are sure to recieve.

(Interviews are now concluded. That means that there is only one more thing left to say.............)

WHOM CAN STOP MY POWERFUL ARSENAL?!?!?!?!?!?!

(Dortmund I like you lot. I really do. But you guys can NOT defeat us. We are just too powerful I'm afraid.)

Arsenal 2 (Giroud, Ozil) - Dortmund 1 (Mighty Reus)
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